83 Reasons You May Be A Bad Golfer

It’s possible a number of these reasons pertain to all of us at some time or another. The problem rears its ugly head when most of these identify you on a regular basis. I stopped the list at 83 but we all know there are many more reasons you may be a bad golfer.

  1. You don’t take lessons. Unless you’re Bubba Watson, call a Pro.
  2. You don’t know who Bubba Watson is. Think pink.
  3. You always use rental clubs. Don’t be so cheap. Get a starter set.
  4. You play in street shoes. You don’t need expensive shoes but take off your work boots.
  5. You play in sandals. Really? Sandals?
  6. You’ve never seen golf on TV. At least turn on The Masters.
  7. You think you can pull off shots like the Pros. Stop watching so much golf on TV.
  8. You choose which tees to play based on yardage. It doesn’t have to be 7,000 yards to be fun.
  9. You choose which tees to play based on the color. Pretend they’re all the same color.
  10. You choose which tees to play based on gender. I know plenty of kids who can hit it farther than you. Both genders!
  11. You choose which tees to play based on where your friends are playing. If they expect you to play the same tees, they’re not your friends.
  12. You choose which tees to play based on size of ego. Better leave that ego in the car if you know what’s good for you.
  13. You think using driver on the tee is mandatory. Get rid of your driver if that’s the case.
  14. You wonder why you are struggling to hit the ball well. See number one.
  15. You expect to be good every time you play. See number one.
  16. You worry about everyone else’s previous shot. Have you seen your swing? Enough said.
  17. You try and coach the entire foursome. Keep it up and they’ll kick you to the curb.
  18. You carry two dozen Pro V1s in your bag. Lose a ball and that’s $4 down the drain.
  19. You search for every ball you hit into the woods. Stop playing Pro V1s.
  20. You try and hit it 200 yards over a lake with a 5 iron. You didn’t hit it 200 yards the last two shots…total.
  21. You let your friends tell you which club to hit. They want to watch you hit those Pro V1s into the lake.
  22. You pull out your sand wedge from 150 yards. Learn to hit your driver that far first.
  23. You think it will help if you wear gloves on both hands. Tommy Gainey you’re not.
  24. You don’t know who Tommy Gainey is. Start watching The Big Break.
  25. You think the LPGA is like the WNBA. Wrong. These ladies take fewer shots to get the ball in the hole.
  26. You’ve never watch the LPGA on TV. Get a HD TV and you will.
  27. You’ve never been to a PGA event. It’s a lot different in person. These guys are really good.
  28. You’ve never been to an LPGA event. Remember how it looked on that HD TV? In person is even better.
  29. You carry a chipper in your bag. You know everyone is laughing at you?
  30. You don’t know how many rules there are in golf. Same number of strokes you took on hole number six, 34.
  31. Your friends don’t know how many rules there are in golf. Did you think they would?
  32. You don’t know anyone who carries “The Rules of Golf.” Be the first in your group.
  33. You dress like Ricky Fowler. When you play as well as Ricky Fowler then you can wear bright orange and lime green together.
  34. You don’t know who Ricky Fowler is. Look for the player in the bright orange and lime green outfit.
  35. You bring your girlfriend to ride along in the cart. Unless she’s a real looker, think again.
  36. You bring your girlfriend to ride along in the cart. She’s a looker. Good call.
  37. You bring your boyfriend to ride along in the cart. That is definitely a conversation starter.
  38. You carry 20 clubs in your bag. The rules say 14 is the max. You would know this if you had a rule book.
  39. You attempt to play every shot from everywhere on the course. You can’t even hit every shot from a perfect lie on the driving range. Think you can do better from 4 inches of rough on the side of a hill?
  40. You think you can work the ball left to right, right to left, on demand. Didn’t you see your ball go left to right on the last fifty shots without even trying? Think again Eugene.
  41. You four putt every green. Stop taking a full shoulder turn when you putt!
  42. You think shooting 120 today was an improvement from yesterday. It may be, but the group behind you doesn’t think so.
  43. You continue to place bets with your friends even when you lose every time. Your friends love you. Keep it up!
  44. You think no one sees you when you cheat. The Golf Gods did and that’s what matters.
  45. You don’t believe in the Golf Gods. Then you haven’t been playing long enough.
  46. You think everyone in your group cheats. You may be right. Time to get another group of friends.
  47. You always pick up those 3 foot putts. Just you wait. That will really cost you in the future.
  48. You always pick up those 10 foot putts. At least get them to 3 feet before you pick it up.
  49. You don’t yell ‘fore’ when your ball is tracking at someone’s head. Since you missed his head, he just waves back.
  50. You don’t yell ‘fore’ when your ball is tracking at the same guy’s head again. Now you’ve got a problem.
  51. You yell ‘fore’ after you hit the guy. Now you’ve got a real problem!
  52. You take three shots to get out of the bunker. So do I.
  53. You don’t rake the bunkers after your three shots. So you’re the guy’s footprint I landed in.
  54. You continually talk while others are hitting. See number 17.
  55. You always walk on everyone’s line on the green. Thank goodness you’re wearing sandals.
  56. You always say, ‘What am I doing wrong?’ after every shot. See number 1 again!
  57. You have a habit of saying, ‘I must have lifted my head up.’ That is the least of your problems Eugene.
  58. You use a range finder without knowing how far you hit each club. At least use it to help your friends.
  59. You take 5 practice swings before every shot. Hurry up. The group behind you is getting tired of waiting.
  60. You hit your 5 iron and 9 iron the same distance. Typical chop.
  61. You watch your clubs fall off the cart when you pull away from the first tee. Ask the starter how to use that strap supplied on the cart.
  62. You watch your friend’s clubs fall off the cart when you pull away from the first tee. Ask the starter why he didn’t use that strap supplied on the cart.
  63. You plumb bob every putt. That’s good for nine. Pick it up.
  64. You are now using ‘AimPoint Express’ to read your putts. Stop reading golf magazines. See number one.
  65. You tell everyone in your group how to use ‘AimPoint Express.’ You are really becoming a pain. You know that?
  66. You arrive at 8:59 for your 9:00 tee time. Then ask, “Do I have time to hit balls?”
  67. You pull up to the first tee with a cold six pack of beer in hand. Your game is going downhill from there.
  68. You fill your cooler with a cold twelve pack at the turn. You thought you played bad the first nine?
  69. You use the phrase, “Hold on fellows. I’m gonna hit a mulligan” on every tee. Heaven help the groups behind you.
  70. You have a 36 handicap and want to play the Championship Tees. This one is self-explanatory.
  71. You turn down an offer from the starter for a free yardage book. You think more course information will just slow down play.
  72. You don’t know the difference between a ‘scramble’ format and a ‘captain’s choice’ format. Most people don’t either. Actually, they are one and the same.
  73. You always play with guys worse than you. This does help your ego and that’s what counts to you.
  74. You play with an 8.5 degree driver to get ‘more roll.’ Taking a divot with your driver reduces roll no matter the loft.
  75. You hate to see kids playing golf on the course. We all wish you would have started as a kid.
  76. You swing so fast you practically fall down. See number one again!
  77. You flirt with the cart girl after giving her fifty cents for her hard work. We all wondered how you got that black eye.
  78. You tell your foursome walking down the third fairway you have a conference call you need to attend in ten minutes. Suddenly three voices in unison, “You’ve got to be kidding me?”
  79. You step into the woods to ‘take a break’ while the cart girl takes our order. At least wait until the cart pulls away Eugene.
  80. You scream, “I’ll take a hot dog and some chips!” to a nearby family picnic. I’ll bet that’s the first time they’ve heard that today.
  81. You hop in the cart and drive away to get the wedge you left back on two green. Come on Eugene. Your round won’t be impacted without it.
  82. You always refer to your wife as ‘your old lady’. That’s just tacky.
  83. You wonder why no one invites you back to play again. See 1 thru 82.


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